Of feeling blessed

I have a vanilla latte with cinnamon and nutmeg.

I hate PowerPoint, and PowerPoint hates me, but when we grit our teeth and overlook our differences, the results are beautiful.

Rain. Need I say more? BB knows what I mean. =) Hi, love.

And Hi to doof too. You're loved.

And most of the rest of yous too. Drop me a line if you're reading, so I know who to say hi to.

of having 13 bloody days to go

I'm tempted to say "how hard can it be", but I know I'd just end up jinxing myself. I probably already have, just by thinking it.

I can literally feel myself shifting into someone else, someone I like better than who I was. Like I told the Banana Girl on our way to school today - sometimes the best way to feel better about being treated like crap is to go out and be your awesome self and let someone else tell you how amazing you are.

A 3 hour late night phone conversation later and I'm back in school, admittedly not really paying attention, but it's the first time in about 6 weeks that I've actually attended my 9am class. And as much as my butt is itching to get back in the driver's seat and head off to doofy's store after lunch with the Banana Girl, I'm damn well going to make myself show up for my philosophy tutorial.

For now I'm working on editing this blasted project report. They typed my name out as "BlaBla Nansi" - was I really not supposed to take offense? After they gave me a lousy peer evaluation? And really. Judging from the state of the report, I'm not surprised we didn't get a good grade on it. Jeeeez. Thank God I've found a way to rise above the bs.

(p.s. Buttz, if you want me to do that weekly restaurant review food critic thing, you need to give me the pictures, you doofus.)

EDIT: Surprise, surprise, I've been at Suntek Siti Starbucks for over an hour. Which means I skipped tutorial. Banana Girl, you're not living up to my impression of you as a good influence. Also, please stop deriving inspiration from the NBF and I, not when things are going crappily. When we're good you can derive as much inspiration as you like, but you've got a good thing going for you (more or less) so don't make the same mistakes I do lei.

HAHAHA I feel like such an older sister. It's a completely alien feeling. Also I'm slightly amused by my need to revert to flippancy everytime something gets anywhere near too emotional.

I'm holding up. I know it's just being dammed up and one day, probably soon, I'm going to explode. But for now I'm actually doing pretty brilliant. Fuckers for group mates, shitty assignments, gloom doom & despair at home, screwed up people all inclusive, and I still manage to laugh and smile and derive pleasure from little things like smoke breaks and large chunks of chocolate chips in my frapps and splashing in puddles.

And all these days i spend away
Ill make up for this i swear
I need your love to hold me up
When its all too much to bear

When the night falls in around me
I dont think ill make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you.

- Landing in London, 3 Doors Down

Cheh. Emo seh.

Thanks dooflydumpkins for the discount + awesome IS magazine freebie =)

Of an extremely important note to self

NOTE TO SELF:

When someone says that they don't have time for you, and ends off with the phrase "oh and FUCK YOU"..... stop believing the nice things they say. Ever.

There's a good achesy.

Thank Heavens for Reggae & Hip Hop & my car & Banana Girl & cookies & coffee & yoga with MeowMeow & the rain.

EDIT: A conversation on msn:

J- you make me feel small. says (11:00 PM):
I AIM VERY WELL THANK YOU.
hahahhahahah
I also MSN very well.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH GEEK JOKE
achesy says (11:00 PM):
sigh.
Sometimes Jeremy.....
J- you make me feel small. says (11:00 PM):
yes?
:)
i cheer you up
:)
now PUT THAT ON YOUR BLOG GO PUT PUT PUT

Of rambles about the rain by the river

I have a song stuck in my head that I only know the melody to. When Banana Girl is done bitching at people online maybe I'll ask her if she recognises it.

Thank God for the rain today. If it weren't for the weather I'm pretty sure I would've sat down on the roadside and bawled my eyes out from the sheer frustration of everything.

I splashed in puddles. It's been a long time since I did that.

I also didn't stop myself from being bitchy. I think I've had it up to here for too long.

I really don't know what to say. I don't even know where to begin.

Hana's story about what I said/did in the toilet at the J block made me smile. I think if I were two people, we'd be friends with each other for sure.

Of soul searching and flippancy

I've been telling several people lately that I wish I were lesbian. And most of them either laugh it off, or ask me if I'm serious - and I'm not. Not really anyway. I only want to lesbian out of sheer perversity, to borrow one of Banana Girl's favourite words. It's that feeling I didn't understand when I was 13, which people in KC must have been feeling. Sidetracking a bit, I'm sure doofy is amused by my synonymising KC girls and lesbianism. The feeling of compulsion to do something just for the sake of it, of apathy so strong that you can feel the lack of emotion.

I want to be a hunter again, I want to see the world alone again, to take a chance at life again, so let me go, let me leave. - Dido, Hunter.

Every time I've ever pushed someone away, I haven't thought twice about it, and I've managed to run as far as I like, to hide for as long as it took for me to recuperate and be "strong" again. I don't understand this perception people have of me being a strong person. I wish Sean were here, because he explains things in a way that makes them seem so obvious. He makes me feel small without being resentful.

Now I'm trying to be logical and reason something out with myself, but I'm not sure I believe in reasoning with your emotions.

And then the Banana Girl tells me about people getting abortions, and I think maybe I'm not so poorly off after all. I haven't had a best friend, but I've got the best friends. Awww, cheesyness galore.

I had a brilliant lunch with my mom at Toast at Taka. And I got myself books from the library so hopefully school won't seem so impossible anymore. And doofy and twinks made fun of me for being a botox face =(

I love how the switch just tripped between soul searching and flippancy. Denial and repression are in my blood, and some days I couldn't be more thankful for it.

Of nothing in particular

The non-straws that are supposed to be stirrers which many people, myself included, insist on using to sip their blazing hot tasty orgasmic coffee from, require skill. There's a method to it, which involves using your tongue in unnatural ways, to derive extremely satisfactory results.

Mmmm, coffee.

I finally figured out how to get to th art museum. Except the only route I know requires first driving to town, and then coming back towards home. I'm pretty sure there's a more direct route, I just haven't figured it out yet.

Since Hana's probably spending quality time with her moms tomorrow, maybe I'll try and figure it out. Probably not, cos I'll want to hang out with my sissypoo before she heads off to KL for her lit festival, but maybe.

Speaking of family, mine is nuts. For reals. Last night the mom, the sister and I went to Parkway, where there was a pillow sale going on. My mom's got issues with her pillows, so she was trying them out......

While standing next to the display. She put her head down on it while standing. It was.... amusing. Now you know where I get the kookyness from.

Also, before that my sister and I got into an argument about whether or not SilverFish Books was a good name for a bookstore. I said it was all about the irony, and she wasn't living up to her status as a poet by not spotting that. She just wasn't amused. Hmph.

The girl who makes me wish I were lesbian. She's psycho. For reals.

My wifey. (p.s. This is the picture I was talking about in my Papi review post) HEY BUTTZ, WHAT'S THE HAPS?!

What I feel like doing everytime I study. I told you Banana takes the best pictures of me.

Okay, okay I really should get on with my essay. I have no idea how I'm going to fit two points and a conclusion into a page and a half, but it's about time I started trying. Let me leave you with the lyrics to a song I was listening to in my car today, which made me think about my boobs and resulted in me laughing like a maniac to myself. Motorists of Singapore, if you saw a curly wopped young lady in a white Sportage behaving a little oddly.... pay no heed. It was nothing.

Bob Marley - My Cup

My cup is running over
I don't know what to do
My cup is running over
I don't know what to do

No I don't know [no I don't know] no I don't know
[No I don't know] Yes I've got to cry, cry, cry
People let me cry, cry, cry
Said I fell a little bit better [cry, cry, cry]
If only I got to cry, cry, cry

Now that I, lost you
I've lost the best friend
That I ever knew
Now that I, realize
It makes me [makes me] it makes me [makes me]
So mad, tell you, my cup, running over

I don't know what to do
My cup is running over
I don't know what to do
No I don't know [no I don't know] no I don't know
[No I don't know] Yes I've got to cry, cry, cry

People let me [cry, cry, cry]
[Cry, cry, cry]
[Cry, cry, cry]

Now that I, lost you
I've lost the best friend that I ever knew
Now that I, realize
It makes me [makes me] it makes me [makes me]
So mad, tell you my cup, cup, is running over baby
And I don't know what to, don't know what to do yeah

Tell you my cup, running over
And I don't know, don't know, don't know what to do
Eh No I don't know [no I don't know] no I don't know
[No I don't know] Yes I've got to cry, cry, cry

People let me [cry, cry, cry]
I'll feel a little bit better [cry, cry, cry]
But I got [feel like crying] [cry, cry, cry]
Ooh yeah [feel like crying] [cry, cry, cry]
Ooh yeah [feel like crying] cry, cry, cry [feel like crying]
Cry, cry

EDIT: I just wrote Banana a poem on MSN, because she was accusing me of being a freak in the sack, while she's supposed to be paying attention to lecture at that. Since I'm all about sharing, here you go:

achesy says (2:51 PM):
hah!
Fine!
I tell you la
since you won't judge me
I love to do it nasty
with whips and chains
handcuffs and leather
no lace for me, oh no
I like it rough baby, I like it good
Spank me tease me love me nasty
candle wax baby, it's all just starting
(feel honoured, I'm writing a poem just for you)

Of being extremely puzzled early in the morning

My friend and his girlfriend asked me to have a threesome with them. And he doesn't get why I would say no even though I find them both rather attractive. Riiiight.

I went to bed at half past 4, and woke up at 7 because my sister couldn't get a cab to school because it was raining like fuckzoids. At least I got to drive in the rain. That always makes me happy. Speaking of which, I read an article yesterday by some woman about how her car is her happy place, because it's the one place she can truly call her own. Just random uninteresting stuff I thought I would share.

I am positively starving, and craving some mickey d's breakfast.

Also, the porn that Silly Cow sent me last night plays like an audio clip. I'm bemused. I can't ask him about it either because he's off to Ipoh. Have a good 9 hour bus ride, babe.

TMNT later today with the Banana Beb. Gedebab!!!!!!

(p.s. I'm getting sick of these label things, so this post isn't getting any. nanny nanny boo boo.)

She's running out again, she's running out, she runs, runs, runs.

Of what weekends should be made of

I have beautiful nails, because my sister took me for a manicure and pedicure.

I have beautiful new bras, because my mom took me shopping. There's one in particular that supposedly looks awesome on me, because my mom and all the shop assistants started gushing when they saw me. Yes, they all saw me in my bra. And gushed. A lot. I'll let you know if it has the same effect on other people.

I would replace "other people" with "the boy", but I'm pissed off with his lack of ability to make time for me. I am this close to cheating on his ass again, but MizzBanana makes a good voice of conscience.

I had a pretzel and lots of ice cream, and I'm meeting the Banana Beb at Siglap later, to "study" over coffee. This is what weekends should be like - lots of r&r, pampering yourself, and good company.

And John Mayer's Slow Dancing in a Burning Room on repeat all day. Damn Y2K weekend on Class 95. The music isn't too bad, but I miss my 80's weekend dreadfully.

Of slipping back into that comfort zone

It was a productive day. Productive by Saturday standards anyway. Most weekends I get absolutely nothing done, so really, anything is an improvement.

Hung out with the BananaBabe at Siglap for a bit, then had a really early dinner with doof, ran a couple of errands, and came home. The group people were being retards again, so I was a bit funked up for a while, but I had a looooooong hot soak in the tub and now I feel better. I spent fifteen minutes of it perched next to the bathroom window having a smoke. Sempurnas are just as tasty as I remember them being, but waaaay lighter. I guess Banana wasn't lying after all. Hmph.

Here's what I typed out during my frequent mini-breaks while doing work at 'bucks.

Till last year I could safely say I'd never been on a date. Now I can safely say I've never been on a second date. I've never had a proper, normal relationship.

I've realised that you really should never say never, because you never know how you'll change and what you'll end up doing, that you never thought you would.

sidenote: I wonder how I knew that the girl in the skimpy little white skirt that just almost displays her dimpled flabby buttcheeks was with the almost good looking white guy even though they were walking more than two arms length apart and not speaking to each other .

We saw two snazzy looking Harley's in the span of an hour. Even if MizzBanana insists that the first one was very "CHANG", I still liked it. She made a good point though. Why is it that Harley riders always wear that half helmet? I said it's cos they're all about being old school bikers, but I don't think she buys my theory.

I wonder if it's just coincidence that coffee and cigarettes taste so damn good together.

I think I should mention that I definitely need some motivation to cut back on the school skipping business, because I realised that next week I'm probably going to be in school for a grand total of 3 hours. Hmm.

Nightmares suck. Waking up to invisible pervs sucks even more.

Today, my dad told me about how he's got a couple of older women working in his office now.. and he kept wondering why people were cussing at them all the time. He was all "why are these people so mean to those poor little old ladies".... till someone explained to him that Ah Soh is just another one of those random Singlish phrases.

My father is such a doomus. =)

That's really all I have for you tonight. I've got tons on my mind, but it's not ready for articulation just yet.

Of explaining where I get my potty mouth from

SCENE: I'm snuggled in my mom's bed, under my dad's blankie, and we're all watching cricket.

Pops: (to my mom) I didn't want to say this at the table, but I didn't really enjoy dinner that much tonight.
Momma: Is it because Eku didn't make it? (Eku being the beloved, talented, amazing, beautiful wonderful youngest child of the family, coincidentally enough also your faithful blogger)
Me: You had hot dogs for dinner? (It's the one meal that I'm invariably coerced into making for the family: hot dogs and fries)
Momma: Yeah
Pops: It was kind of sweet on the inside. It should be spicy.
Me: I'm the hot dog queen! Yes!!
Pops: Garam Kutti. (that's Gujarati for Hot (female) Dog).
Me: Did daddy just call me a bitch?
Pops: Bitch. A heaty bitch.

SCENE: Mom and dad are sitting on the bed. Daddy's just finished eating peanuts.

Momma: You'd brushed your teeth so nicely, and now you're coming near me with your peanut-foul-stenched-breath. Couldn't come near me with minty fresh breath, no, just the smelly stuff.
Pops: Breathes heavily at momma
Momma: Stop that!
Pops: Breathes heavily at momma again
Momma: Utters unrepeatable, probably untranslatable, cusswords at pops.

Disclaimer: Not a one off event. This tends to happen all the damn time.

Of things that cheer me up

It's ridiculous and makes me smile.

As does free coffee (thanks to Khai, yay! He's hot AND nice!) And smoking with MizzBanana while discussion menstruation on an overhead bridge. And driving. And mickey d's breakfast. And talking to people on the phone for no good reason.

I can't believe I ever said I didn't believe in pointless conversation.

EDIT: I haven't done much work so far. Bit of 3215 PQL test cases, rewrote my 1004 essay introduction like 4 times. Mostly just enjoyed my coffee, laughed with the BananaBabe and Ainon..

I'm sitting in "my" chair at doofy's store (Banana claims these chairs are ours, and I'm not about to complain because they're by far the comfiest) staring at the new posters they just put up an hour or two ago. There's one that says:

"Time to think, create, work, escape, enjoy. Welcome to Starbucks."

And I couldn't agree more.

No, they don't pay me for all the free advertising.

Ainon was talking to us about premarital sex earlier, and I'm just bemused by how the world works sometimes. All the little coincidences, different areas of life linking together, things coming together in ways you'd never expect.

I love how strangers congregate around the xbox live demos at the store next door. Grown men in their work clothes, smart business suits, blazers slung over shoulders, fighting it out like little boys. I'm not much of a gamer, but I appreciate the sentiment.

"Can't look you in the eye. You're just like an angel. I want to have control I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. I want you to notice when I'm not around, so fucking special, I wish I was special. What the hell am I doing here, I don't belong here. Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want. She's running, she runs."

Sillycow says perfection is boring. I think perfection should consist of just the right amount of imperfection to enhance inherent beauty and showcase flaws subtly.

Banana says she finds it easier to type and think, than to write and think. It makes me think of how in TP I'd skip class all the time, and write. Just write and write and write, and it made me feel so much better. I'd like to take all that writing out and see how much of it makes sense now, how much of it retains it's meaning through time. More than that, I'd like to write again.

Don't keep it pent up, Sillycow says. That's why I look so fierce all the time. It made me laugh, and not only because I was being evasive. It honestly amused me. I see the sense in it, I see the similarities. I wonder at seeing myself mirrored in these two enticing souls recently, parts in them, parts in the ones they love, and I think maybe I'm not alone. When I sit here in this corner, shutting out the world, just the music, just the words, just pseudo isolation, I think maybe I'm lying when I think I don't belong here.

It's easy now, but as reality presses harder against the barriers you set up in your mind, it's hard to recall this feeling. It's difficult to remember that when you close your eyes, face up, and feel yourself tumbling over yourself, that you can choose to be the one who's rising up, not the one who's sinking down.

I was about to talk about how low blood sugar levels might actually be a life saver, but doofy just came back slightly upset by the trials and tribulations faced by service staff. On top of that, his cell phone died, so I'm going to try to revive it, and hopefully that will cheer him up some.

The title to this post isn't really very relevant anymore, but I refuse to cut and paste the edit into a new entry, because it seems silly to make 2 posts in such a short time span. So deal with it loves.

Of blogging by request

I went for my sister's reading tonight. Met Anjukunji, Muffin, WeeWee, and a couple of my sister's friends. I don't think I'm being biased when I say my sister was the best. It's not just the words, how you say them matters too, and she says it well.

We went for mum mums after that, and she made me drag some traffic cones and trashcans out of the way to park in front of some houses... and when we came back we were greeted with this:


I'm summarising a lot here, because I'm kinda tired (I'm only blogging because my sister insisted that I write about the bizarre note, and I have to agree, it's amusing enough to share with everyone, so here I am), and the conversation I'm having with Sean is distracting me. Basically we camped out at the side of the road for a good ten-fifteen minutes because the writer of that note was camping at her gate, looking out for the owner of our car. Eventually I got tired of skulking around and stormed off to the car, but she didn't come after us with a machete. And of course we mocked it the entire way home. I'm still keen on writing a post it and sticking it on the traffic cone that reads: Dear Cone, you do not belong here. These people are using you. Flee, cone, flee!!

Also, I got another academic warning of sorts today. I am tired of dealing with people. I think I would like very much to be emotionally void again, at least for a little while. Which is what I'm discussing with Sean right now, in case you were being nosey.

MizzBanana, may I leech another cigarette off of you tomorrow? I think I might need it.

EDIT: The one time I've made up my mind to go for my 9am class, it's cancelled. Go figure. If I do go to school tomorrow, it's gonna be for a measly hour. This bums.

Also, listening to Radiohead when I'm feeling blue and hungry and grumpy and the boy is busy with work and can't entertain me and MizzBanana isn't around for me to leech smokes off of probably isn't the brightest idea in the world. Hurrah for the commonsense Sean claims I have that keeps me from breaking. Bending maybe, but no breaking.

Also also, Nut, I don't know why, but suddenly the comments are working again. Weird much. Leave me some love, pretty please?

DOUBLE EDIT: I fixed the weird comment thing. Also, check out what Sean showed me. Click here for some hair dye fun. Yes, we go from "I want to slit my wrists no don't do it" to "wow, we're invincible" to "hey check out fun things to do to your pubes" in a seamlessly flowing conversation. One of the reasons I love him so. Yay!

Of a whole load of catching up

Friday evening saw Buttz and I headed off after the gym for dinner. We showed up at Papi's (5 Mohd Sultan Rd) at just a little past 6, and the restaurant wasn't open yet. After a little mucking around in 7-11 though, we went back and were received as the first customers of the night.


It's a pretty place, innit? I especially liked the little indoor tree they had. I took a picture of Buttz with the tree reflected in the mirror, but either I took it on my phone, in which case I haven't transferred it to my laptop yet, or she didn't like it so she didn't send it to me.


The second best thing I had: Bread basket. I'm not so keen on crispier bread in general, it was alright here, but the soft square pieces were divine. I'm not sure if that was just because I was starving, but it tasted so damned good. The olive oil and vinaigrette that they served it with went so well. I could've made that my entire meal. Actually maybe I should've, considering how I ate so much of it that we had trouble finishing our main dishes.

For a change, I didn't zoom in to catch a random guy in a voyeuristic act of exhibiting my 733+ photographic skillz. They have little pots and pans and stuff hung up on the wall. It's adorable. According to Buttz the loo is amazing too, but I didn't get a chance to see that for myself, and she didn't take pictures, so you'll just have to take her word for it.

We were served mostly by this one guy who was intrigued with Buttz's phone. Kept commenting on how clear the images were, asking what model number it was, how many megapixels, etc, etc, etc... I wasn't in one of my "I don't want to talk, just feed me" moods, so I didn't mind. Friendly service is good for some people, polite service for others. It just depends on my mood, for me.


Buttz didn't bring her camera along, so these pictures were taken on her phone. Don't mind the flash. The pizza was good (Inferno, I believe it was called). Spicy salami and lots of cheese. Bit oily, and the salami got way too salty for Buttz after a while, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I still say Al Forno's at East Coast sells the best Diabola pizza though, but maybe I'm just biased.

Risotto with bacon and mushrooms. Simple and tasty. Bit bland, specially coupled with the pizza above, but I'm sure if you eat it on it's own it's pretty good. I'm not a big risotto fan, but I enjoyed it, so I'm sure if you like risotto generally, you'll approve.

My favourite part of the meal: Dessert. I think the extra friendly waiter called this a Tartufo, but I might be mistaken. Either way it's vanilla ice cream wrapped in layers of chocolate ice cream and cocoa powder and pure simple bits of heaven. I compared it to the chocolate ice cream you get for a dollar in between two wafer pieces from those men with little cycle hawker carts along orchard and near Parkway Parade. And I mean that in the best possible way, because I love that ice cream. It's smooth and chocolatey and reminds me of what ice cream tasted like when I was a kid. None of that fancy schmancy flavouring and random things in the middle of it ruining the texture. Just plain simple icey creamy yumness.

Buttz decided to leave her mark for the dishwasher. In case you can't tell because of the flash, that says "PW". I thought your name was Butternut Squash, love. Shouldn't that say "BS" from now on?

Buttz insisted that we had to take a picture of the signboard, but didn't want to look like an idiot doing it, so you get this semi stylised angled picture. Yay! The bill came up to a little over $50 for two mains and a dessert.

The rest of these pictures are in completely random order because I uploaded them to calm myself down while extremely pissed off with my groupmates (as usual. 3 weeks to go luv, 3 weeks to go) and didn't bother to think about it too much, and now that I've realised how many there are, I'm definitely not going to chronologically organise them. Deal with it.

The cafe dwellers at Starbucks at Fullerton on doofy's birthday. (I'm blogging this there right now, btw, when I should be doing my 3211 tutorial. Fuck monitors, I say. No, not the lizards. I'm not one for beastiality. I love animals, but not that much.)

I don't know why so few people find this amusing, but I cracked up to myself like crazy when I saw it. I really try not to be racist and/or ethnocentric you know, but sometimes it's just so hard.

I realised that I never did put up a picture of the Care Bears that Fiong and I coloured. So here you go. Yay!
I met Mark Lee's sister in the bus.

The fruits of my shopping for doofy's birthday present. Sexy shoes and delish chocolates (or so he claims).

Random guy picking his nose in the library. MizzBanana's RAhUL thinks that guy's my soulmate. :aww:

Can't remember if I posted this, but that guy looks a HELL of a lot like doofy. It was awesome.


This was the day I left my mp3 player at Fullerton. I got it back, so alls well that ends well. It was a good day.

Random sexy car that was parked next to mine. I'm not usually a fan of Merc's, but this one was nice, even I have to admit.

The pie that had doof orgasming for days straight.

THOS SB RAFFLES!!

Yeah, that's really all I have to say about that picture.

Buttz happy on her birthday...

... and Buttz grumpy on her birthday. I'm guessing the person on the phone really pissed her off. Hurrhurr. I love being a bitch.

Buttz trying to be a mayfly. You can try as much as you want sweetcheeks, but nobody's gonna outdo me in that role. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.


I took a pretty picture of the cafe dwellers on doofy's birthday! Yay me!


MizzBanana and I decided that if the boys wanted to hang out with us, they had to be pretty. In the 10 on the way to Tampines to catch Happily Never After (we stopped and took a cab cos we were about to miss the movie, btw) she did twinky's hair, and I did doofy's. Pretty!

If we were the 7 dwarves, he'd be happy and I'd be grumpy, no?

Mizz Banana smiling even though the boys were calling her a PEREMPUAN SUNDAL ANTARABANGSA! (please don't beat me, I love you)

Doof, on..... some random day after CNY cos he's wearing the shirt he bought. At Fullerton. Again. Hmm. Maybe when I told that guy that I'm not a regular customer, I might have been stretching the truth a bit.

My favourite Starbucks Barista. You may not be as Ali G as the guy at RC, or as tall and skinny and oddly enough capable of making me go giggly inside as the guy at JJ (see, I know the lingo!!), but I still lubs you dearly.

I think we didn't want him in the picture. I don't particularly remember now. But it amuses me anyway.
They bully me.

I took a sexy picture of Jeeves. Eating chicken skin. And not eating his vegetables. Bad Mr Singh.

K, I'm done with pictures for now. On to the random things I remember wanting to blog about:

Yesterday I was caught in a jam on my way home. I saw a Mazda in my rearview mirror, and thought to myself "wouldn't it be funny if that was Mel?" Five minutes later I get a call from Mel, to tell me that she was in Wesley's Honda, and they'd just passed me by on the second lane. Coinkydink much.

Yesterday was also my nephew's first birthday. Happy Birthday, bubby bhai. I love how my sister in law is always so happy to hear from us. She cheers me up immensely. I love that woman. And that child. And my cousin.

Yesterday was ALSO the day that I got to use my new wallet for the first time. I'd been wanting to buy it for someone, anyone, but everyone I know has a nice wallet already. I even asked the boy if he wanted it, but he didn't like the idea of a pin up girl on the front of it. So I told Buttz on Thursday night that I was going to buy it for myself. I met her on Friday to go the gym, and she whips out... you got it. The wallet. I spat at her (figuratively, because I love her too much to treat her the way I did Marcus (not your sexy Marcus, don't worry Buttz)) and proceeded to buy it for myself anyway. My sister has now decided that Buttz and I are totally BFFs. I was greatly amused by that declaration of hers. So babe, you wanna be Paris, or Nicole? I was actually thinking maybe we could deviate a bit and be Britney, or Lindsey... Grins.

Not that I really had to use it much. Doofy was feeling generous and plied me with lots of freebies. I was fed expired chocolate eclairs and butter croissants and the remnants of his Mango Tea Frap. Deeee-lish. Good thing I pigged out so much at your store, I went home and momma had made baked vegetables for dinner. Seriously. There was no meat, at all. Whatever happened to balanced meals, man? Where's the protein?!?!

Walk Like an Egyptian is a magical song. It's by the Bangles, btw, in case like doof, you've never heard it. I sometimes wonder what else he could possibly say to astound me.

It's lucky for you guys that I didn't take my cell phone with me to the gym. There was a lady there yesterday who must have been about 37, 38? And she looked every year of it too. Not a bad body, but it's like Madonna, you know? Lady, cover it up already, you're too old to be prancing around like that. Have some dignity. So anyway, this lady was wearing stretch denim hotpants. And not only was her ass hanging out the bottom of it, but so was her vagoo. She just had to adjust herself back into her pants right in front of me, when my face was at her crotch level. Ugh.

Yes, I've been catching up on my LICD. Vagooooooo. I've also been spending a lot of time watching the cricket world cup, and not getting enough sleep.

I would like to say that I don't like how the boy has friends who don't knock. I'm sure they're nice enough, but dammit! Babe, learn to lock your door, or something.

Here's something to cheer you up if you're cranky, because I was cranky and it cheered me up lots:







That's all for now, from the girl who was:

of a lack of posts

I decided a couple of days ago that I'd blog about whatever I damn well please, instead of censoring myself. Within limits, obviously. I mean, I'm not going to not ramble just because I know some of the people who are reading this. It's easier to articulate when no one's listening.

But of course, as with everything else in my life, once I've set my mind to something, I can't actually do it. So there you go, that's why the sudden silence. I'll update eventually though. I know for sure there's a post coming once I get Friday night's pictures from Buttz.

I'm amused that the guy at the Reading Place (little book rental shop at Siglap Centre, next to Macs?) remembers me. I'm bemused that MizzBanana and I live scarily parallel lives in certain aspects. I'm pissed off that my brain is screaming at my body to inject itself with caffeine or nicotine or both. I'm relieved that I have cookies to not-exactly-make-up-for-it-but-something-somewhat-close. I'm looking forward to CSI tonight because my recording got screwed up again on Wednesday.

I'm bummed that my weekend is almost over, but glad that for a change it seemed to last the entire two days instead of disappearing into the space-time continuum.

Continuum is a funny looking word, eh?

You guys should watch cricket. It's soothing. Especially when the underdog plays well.

I almost always root for the underdog. Bet you didn't know that

Of tired rambles

I'm tired. Completely beat.

For the first time as far back as I can remember, my "five more minutes" this morning turned into an hour. It would've been more if my mother hadn't come in and warned me. I love you momma. Thank you for dishing out the cab fare so I didn't miss class. Thank you for never denying me coffee and clothes and books and other material bliss, and thank you for all the other non material goodness, like sharing your blankie and filtering out papa's snores while watching the cricket world cup at midnight.


School bores me, incredibly much. I have a somewhat interesting assignment for once, but I wonder if I'll really do it justice. I have a history of letting myself down when it comes to desire.


I hate children. I can't believe I ever seriously considered having a huge family. Shopping during the school holidays makes my head hurt. I'm glad Vivo City isn't as popular as it should be. I'm also glad for surprise sales, and being able to give presents. I hope you really liked the stuff doof, and aren't just saying so. Happy Birthday again.


I don't understand people who give gifts without thought. My ex-boyfriend once mentioned how that was one of the things he loved about me. I always thought that a bit odd. But then again that whole relationship was odd. He's seen me cry countless times, and with most other people it's a miracle if they've seen me cry even once. I don't cry. I get pissed off and storm away, not bawl. Never saw the point. Only time I cry is when I'm strained to brimming point with that whole "being strong" business. It's tiring. You have no idea.


Tonight, for the second time, the stray cat at Siglap Linear Park tried to follow me home. I wanted to sit down on the road and just cuddle it for a while. Wet fur from the rain, and pitiful meows. At least it was fat. Being fed is always a good thing.


I want a camera. And a working printer. And sleep.

And understanding. I'm more or less resigned to the fact that I'm going to stay confused, but somedays I'd rather hate than settle for limbo.


Bedtime. And tomorrow, cricket reruns, coffee, MizzBananaBliss, and a movie. Hurrah for days off.

Of exercise and panic attacks

Today, I went to the gym, and my laptop almost conked out on me.

(as you can tell, I'm too tired to be verbose. Here's something to make up for lack of words.)

Of tittilating teasers

I spent last night in bed in a hotel suite with 4 lovely young ladies. And I'm blissfully happy today because it's turning out to be an awesome weekend. When I get pictures from Farah I'll share.

Also, I got to be Darth Maul in Star Wars Monopoly, w00t! And Tim passed me my cds, w00t w00t! And the girls and I actually carried on an intellectual conversation, triple quadruple woopee type w00t!!

I stole hotel toiletries for the first time in my life because I was intrigued by the bottles. Again, photos to come (if I remember).

We're already making plans for a holiday in December. Teehee.

I'm most amused that both doof and banana remember the poem I'm talking about. This is why I love you guys so damned much. BIG HUG. Snigger.

Time to go listen to some Jill Scott and watch cricket and read cheesy fantasy novels. Mmm glorious deadline free weekends!

Of boring entries because my brain hurts

My day:

I was almost late for class. Was really tempted to skip, but I went anyway. I'm either extremely smart and did really well on my midterm, or I'm extremely dense and did really badly. Guess we'll just wait and see. At least there's one module I've done well in so far (BizTechComm, I got an A for my letter. snort.)

I took an eventful bus ride down to VivoCity where I was rather cranky when I met PeeWee, but after some time in a bookstore I cheered up muchly and proceeded to have a damn good time. Did you know that the only DBS ATM in the mall is all the way near Starhub, practically in Harbour Front? Freaks. Also, GV doesn't accept mastercard. Now you know. (which reminds me. I owe peeswees $8, I owe Mel $13, and I owe my bank account $20. I'm poor. Dammit. That's more than half my allowance for next week already gone. And dinner and birthday presents next week and ohhhh dammit.) PeeWee, remember to plan plan our Friday thing, mmkay? We'll keep it secret. Because I like having secrets. Grin.

We watched Music and Lyrics with Nutnut and Jeeves. It was good. Like I told Jerm, surprisingly snarky for a Hugh Grant romantic comedy. I liked it muchly.

Met Lee at City Hall, met Muffin at the Esplanade, mucked around, contemplated eating at Sakae Sushi, ended up at.... some Chicken Shop (what was that place called again?) where the popcorn chicken was made up of, in Jeevan's words, "1% meat, 99% skin". Heaven for Farah and Mel. The food was good though, and not ridiculously expensive. THEN we had Max Brenner's chocolate fondue (among other things, not limited to the umelting ice cream) and it made Jeevan, Muffin and I stone, and Lee and Nut hyper.

And then I took Hana's lead and walked home from the Mandarin Garden's bus stop instead of taking the shorter (and darker and spookier) walk from behind my estate. I'm not really spooked out by the quiet and dark and desertedness of that route as much as I am spooked out by the creepy crawlies that could get at you along that route. It requires walking in the grass and stuff. I don't like bugs. Not in the sense that I'll scream and screech and be excessively girly, but I don't like them.

My plans for the next couple of days include not doing my assignment for 3211, finally getting my dad to fill up a couple of forms that I keep forgetting about, printing out notes, setting up the wireless printer sharing thing, PeeWee's birthday celebration... and that's just the weekend. I've already got plans for Monday and Tuesday, and of course, I'm chopeing Hana for studying on Wednesday.

But for now, I'm gonna go talk to my loves online for a bit and then pass out. Night night world.

EDIT: My parents got home from a party, and my father is drunk, which got me thinking of a couple of things. One of them was how it's interesting that all the men I love are amazing when they're drunk, and that reminded me of a poem we got in Literature in Secondary School, which everyone interpreted to mean abuse at home from an alcoholic father, and I interpreted as fun with dad when he's tipsy. Go figure.

Also, while I'm admitting to slightly less superficial and shallow thoughts, here's one for you: What's the point in being able to set your jaw and grit your teeth and square your shoulders and all those other sayings for being strong and not just having a long good cry whenever you damn well feel like it? What's wrong with giving up?

of absent mindedness, part II (or was it part III?)

Today I had a splendid time, finished up what I had to read in record time, had a yummy dinner with dessert to boot, lots of laughs... and then I came home and realised I'd left my mp3 player at Starbucks.

The people at the One Fullerton Starbucks are really nice though, they managed to find it and held on to it till I went back to claim it. The guy at the counter was quite perplexed that no one stole it in the 2 hours between my leaving the store and calling them up.

Know why it took me two hours to realise it was missing? Because I took a train home with doof and hanabanana, and when I looked for it and couldn't find it I just assumed I wasn't looking properly, since it's in a little black case that blends in perfectly with everything I own. Then when I finally did realise that it honestly wasn't there, first the operator who answered my call to 100 (named Fiona, hmmm) claimed that there wasn't a Starbucks listed at One Fullerton. Then my laptop was being a bitch and refused to log in so I could look it up on the Internet. Finally I had to call doof and get his help in finding the number online.

I'm surprised I didn't have a giant panic attack. You know you've been reading too much pvp when you almost type "giant panda attack" by mistake. It's safe and sound back with me now. My sister got an almond croissant for breakfast out of the whole ordeal, and I'm not more determined than ever to get a really bright cover for the thing so I don't keep assuming it's just blending into the inside of my bag. Also, Benjamin Aaron is behaving himself again. Sort of. He's still a bit laggy, but I'm pretty sure he'll get over it.

I can't wait to delete all the crap I had to download for school this semester. Ugh.

HI TIMMY!!!!

Yeah, I think I forgot to do that the last time cos I was about to fall asleep at my keyboard.

Wish me luck for my midterm tomorrow. I'm gonna talk to the boring but extremely pretty boy for a bit, then shower and watch cricket with my mum while reading my notes. Yay for the world cup!

Oh also, I almost forgot - Mizz Banana's got really white teeth. You must use really good detergent, eh? Or.

Of why I love bulletins and networking websites

Shyam Raj of Sebab Saya Shotgun fame added me on Friendster. Today there was a bulletin posted by him. I was most amused, so I thought I'd share. Specially for Alicia, and her brother Ashley, who spent a Sunday afternoon watching Hindi movies.

-----------------
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes


1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!

The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide...

-------------------

Thank you, thank you very much!

Of an afternoon off, and a confession

My consultation for this week is cancelled, as is my weekly meeting. Which means I basically only had a two hour tutorial in the morning (which I'm done with, yay!) and a two hour lecture from 2-4 (which I skipped, yay!) I very smartly didn't bring my textbook with me, so I had to go home and get it. And now I'm at Jeremy's store with Hana, "studying".

I think poetry does funny things to your mind. I'm seeing beauty everywhere in the world today. I was about to say that it's not the best position to be in when you're a self proclaimed cynic, when I remembered that I'd promised myself, a little over a year go, to stop being a cynical bitch and learn to really live. So hey, what the hey!

I had chicken cheese murtabak with milo peng today and now I've got coffee so I'm happy and comfy and sleepy. Comfy enough to make a confession: I write poetry. Betcha didn't know that huh. I have oodles and oodles of the stuff, most of which is crap.

Another quickie

Tonight I went to a poetry reading with Anjana, to watch my sister and the guy she pretends is her boyfriend. He shook my hand. Teehee.

After getting over the urge to mock everyone in the room, I had a really good time. Plans are in progress to attend a poetry slam now. I'm starting to worry a bit about our trip to Australia, because my friends over there are being demanding, and I'm wondering how that'll play out with the friends I go there with.

I'm trying very hard to convince Mizz Banana to hook up with Raul. It's not working so far.

Tim has so kindly offered to supply me with mucho soul. Plenty luff to you.

If you can't tell, I got extremely tired halfway through writing this entry. I give up. Bed calls my name. Toodles.

(p.s. McDonalds drive-thru reminds me of you, very many much.)

Of wonders never ceasing

Have I ever mentioned that I'm a really accident prone? And that there's a huge difference between being clumsy, and being accident prone?

Take today, for example. I was trying to figure out more of that school related bs, got frustrated, lost my temper, lashed out by slamming my fists against the table - except that completely backfired, and now I've got the most icky catch in my back. Having a short temper never pays, boys and girls.

Lots of people remember a time when I had a ridiculously short fuse. I don't know when that changed, and I don't even know if I agree that it's a change for the better.

Speaking of which, there was a time when I couldn't understand why people would continue doing things that so obviously made them miserable. Well surprise surprise, look where I ended up.

6 weeks till I get almost 4 months of coding free vacation. I have Wednesdays and weekends off, so that's only 24 days of school. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. I enjoy what I study, for the most part, but honestly, I've grown to positively hate programming. Which is a pity because it's something I quite used to enjoy. And it's also something that I end up having to do a lot for school. I miss having classmates, being able to ask for help, most of all I miss being understood. I don't want to be racist, but sometimes people make it hard for me to keep an open mind.

And that's why I'll understand if you stay. I wouldn't be here either if I had a choice.

Also, Singapore is really small. Remember the video I put up a while back? If you don't, here's a refresher:



Well, that guy is in a band with someone named Roman, who's also now going out my friend's ex-girlfriend. I only realised they were the same person because his family is on the first page of today's Life section and I had to flip past his face to reach the funnies. Which, I'm sad to announce, weren't all that funny. But maybe that's just me being bitter about pulling a muscle again and having work to do.

Of soul hitting my soul

This is why I was hunting for Jill Scott's albums today when I was out with doof. So Lupe Fiasco looks slightly odd with his capering about, but if you don't watch, and just listen... Well I certainly understand why so many people want a copy of this version of the song. It's an amazing rendition.

I had a really good time out today, being a total Cafe Girl, but now I'm home and faced with the prospect of lots of school stuff, so I'm a tad blue. I'm looking forward to the holidays so much, you have no idea.

I wish someone understood just how much I really hate school.

Of the best rainy day activity

I skipped classes today (again, I know, I'll try to do better next week, I promise. I can't help it that Fridays just seem so... frivolous) and ended up at Jeremy's store. I'd planned to work on the proposal we have to submit on Tuesday, so that I could mail the edited text to Mich and she could format it up and print it soon, but as usual PeeWee served as a bad bad influence. Tsk. I ended up gossiping with her the entire time I was there.

On the way out, I grabbed an IS magazine, and saw this. Scroll down to the 22nd of March, at 8pm. Familiar name, hmm, hmm? My sister's gonna be famous yo.

I drove home in the amazing amazing rain, and after a hot shower I curled up and finally finished Wicked, by Gregory Maguire (which reminds me, I really need to update my reading list on this site). I loved it. It starts out a little slower than I'd like, and some of the political rants bore me, and I'll admit that I have a tendency to skip over the discussions on the nature of Evil.... but wow. I'm definately picking up Son of a Witch (hehe, you gotta admit, he's kinda funny. Son of a Witch, geddit, geddit?!) the next time I go book hunting. I read somewhere that he's in the process of writing a follow up to that too, or it may already be published.

I only really picked Wicked up because I was having such a difficult time getting through I, Lucifer, and in an act of defiance I bought another autobiography-of-a-misunderstood-character, but I'm really glad I did. I thought I, Lucifer was blathering and boring, honestly, and I still haven't finished it. I don't think I will either. I'm never proud of not completing a book, but I just didn't see the point in putting myself through this one. I'm glad I started on Wicked though, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Also, I stopped halfway through that paragraph above and went to IKEA with my parents. We were looking for a new matress for my grandma. On the way there they vented, and on the way home they got into an argument about who uses more swear words, and who uses worse swear words. In the end they decided it was me. Jeez. Just cos I pick up stuff from both of them. Also, we almost died because my father didn't see a bus coming and turned directly into it's path. I'm so glad it wasn't me driving.

Of being a tomboy, part II

Sean linked me this, and I said "whoah" out loud. Sigh. I am such a loser.