Of fluffy being a meandering soul

Today we found our special place. It's very romantic.

Also, I decided I like the word meandering.

If you guys could participate in the following poll (completely anonymous, of course!) I would be greatly appreciative.

Also, has anyone else seen this? I can't tell if it's the cough syrup + need for sleep that's making me find it so amusing, or if it's really as funny as it seems right now... but I'm sure some of you will enjoy it, so here you go:



I forgot to link this ages ago. Enjoy, loves =) Grab your dick and double click....

Of things said when hyper

Fluff's friend RAhUL claims that girls who go grocery shopping and eat celery sticks are sophisticated. Somehow that led to me and Fluffy reciting the following (in our best cheerleaders from Bring It On voices) in the car on the way back from Mickey's place:

Who's Fis-ti-cated?
I'm Fis-ti-cated!
How Fis-ti-cated?
SO Fis-ticated!!!! YEAH!!!

Now excuse me while I go get ready to meet her butt for yet another round of studying. I really wonder what we're going to do once school's out, because this is all we ever seem to do now - study, get hyper to release stress/tension, eat, sleep, repeat.

EDIT: Things you learn in the ShoutBox:

In the Sambia tribe, as early as age 7, young boys are expected to “suck the penis of a mature boy every night and swallow the sperm"

- Source

Also, here's a link that's got me extremely perplexed. How the fuck does ANYONE have that much patience?!

Of antisocial comforts

I know I'm slipping into this little antisocial cell, but for some reason or other I decided to un-delete all those people I'd deleted on MSN (deleted, not blocked) and just seeing them sign in and out is kinda cheering me up. Without the talking, it's just kinda nice to know that they're there, you know?

I had dinner with the wifey (I'm lagging extremely muchly with the commentary posts, I'm sorry! Make up for it soonish, promise). Sorry if I was a bit dead. This sickness is tiring me right out. If it doesn't go away soon I'll go to the doctor, even though I know she's just going to give me more paracetamol.

Somehow these conferences with Yati always cheer me up. As do Mickey and Fluffy and all the other good company. Thanks for the truffles, twinks =)

of still being confusslated

I'm sick sick sick sick sick and it's pissing me off, mostly because I can't go to the gym and now is the perfect time for me to let off some steam by running like the crazed hounds of hell are after me.

ugh!

BB and I actually walked around today instead of just sitting around. It was... a strange feeling. Also, I almost referred to you as the Fluffy Banana but that just sounds so damn wrong.

ughhhh. I want the boy to come back and baby me already.

2 more weeks and I'm done for the semester. Hmph.

of a 100 posts already

Today was a painful kind of day. I'll be glad when I no longer have to deal with stupid people.

I don't know what I'm going to do when you get back. I don't know if I love you anymore. I don't know if I want to.

I miss the Fluff.

I want to curl up with a good book and a bar of chocolate, or a tub of ice cream, and just read for a week straight.

Ugh.

of being delirious with the fever

mickey says (9:36 PM):
i watched casablanca today
i wished i lived in those times
achesy says (9:36 PM):
I watched my snot run down the drain
hahahahahgaha
not really
achesy says (9:37 PM):
I just felt like saying that
sorry
oh god
I'm really hyper
mickey says (9:37 PM):
wtf?!!
are you trying to scare me?
cause u're freaking me out!!!!!!!!

of yet more rambles from the coffee shops

Reason #46 why I love hindi movies:

Varun: I already told you, you can't come along.
Gayathri: Varun!
Varun: This is the end of the road for you, baby. Go back. Please.
Gayathri: Varun!
Varun: I love you Gayathri. Good bye.
Gayathri: Varun!

How fucked up is it when you start to relate to Top 40's hits?

I'm running a slight fever. Enough to let me remember the good times with the ex. Which makes me think maybe I know, at least some what, what it is I want from a relationship. But as usual, I can't put it into words. It's okay though, I have a while yet to work on that.

love,
Fudge.

Of things I bet you didn't know

Every time the weekend rolls around, my feet start itching to be squished into painful but oh so gorgeous shoes and taken out dancing. 3 weeks till my semester ends bitches, and then I'm going to have a long fun filled week before settling down into boredom for the next 3 months.

I just ditched Swine on MSN. She was about to start a drunken conversation with me, but luckily for me I have to get dressed for Friday Night Dinner, so I had an escape route.

Reason #72653839 why I'm so glad I have cool parents:

pooofta said:
o shit moms iming me
i have to remember to cleverly avoid

She wants to make babies with the dad from My Family. I want to make babies with the son. Does that mean my kids would call her gramma?


Random musings while at Starbucks "studying":

A funny thing happened today. A stranger spoke to me, saw no reason to ask someone else. Maybe I'm not as fiercefromkeepingitin as I used to be, after all.

I love watching grown men eat ice cream with a kind of silent bliss radiating outward. It's like a gentle reminder that as much as you've ignored it, the child inside of you probably hasn't died yet.

If the NBF won't say it, I'll take it from Axl Rose instead.

That last part would stem from listening to Don't Cry like 300 gabillion times on repeat the past week.

Reason #27 why I love Friendster:

• You never know what you'll find. In front you have kitty, then you have two random pleasantly nonhomophobic young men, then you have Snoopy who.. well.. never mind, let's not discuss the girlfriends' dirty little secrets in public... and then behind him, you have... *drumroll* My ass! That was the night I spent an abnormally large amount of time sitting on a staircase, and was greatly amused by Smelly's bulimic tendencies. Also, for the benefit of BB, that's the night I met your fiance to be, and his deceptively attractive rich friend.
  

Yeah really, that's about it for now. Weird. I was sure I had shit to prattle on about. I guess I'm just in a lazy public holiday kinda mood. I spent all day lounging around just reading a nerdy fantasy novel. My plans for my holidays involve either signing up for WoW or getting a job so I can indulge in guilt-free shopping in the land of Oz.

Of spewing the biggety beats

BB and I finished our work in an abnormally short amount of time today, and then I was too dead to do ANYTHING, so we went home. And now I'm going to be starving at 9pm because I'd already told my mommy not to make anything for me cos I wouldn't be home for dinner. Champions.

Speaking of mommy.... I got out of the shower today and she told me that she'd been needing to pee for ages and had been waiting for me. So I said to her:

I'm sorry for taking time to make myself clean
I apologise for having a sense of hygiene,
hey I'm standing here in my towel just trying to rhyme,
So won't you please give me some of your precious time

And then she slammed the bathroom door in my face, so it was a very short lived rap. Oh well.

Of disillusionment rolling into familiarity

Today when Sean saw me online the first thing he said was "buy me a drink". I love how he automatically assumed I was at a Starbucks.

Today when I walked into the tutorial room I moved automatically towards "our" seats, only to find people already sitting there. For a couple of seconds I just stared at them completely perplexed, and then finally moved somewhere else.

Today when I had my group meeting i was actually involved in the first part of the discussion. Then they started talking in Chinese and I took a little nap.

Today I didn't get knots of icky meeting-new-people anticipation when the superhero synonymed boy and I made plans for a movie date, then an hour or so later he told me he had to postpone.

Today I was driving with my windows down, Tupac blaring loudly, and for a split second I was transported to the days my sister used to drive us around in Herbie with a cigarette dangling languidly from her fingers out the window. Then I unglamourously flicked the ash from my own cigarette and was brought back to reality.

Today I walked into JJ and didn't recognise a single barista. Then I was settling into my favourite table outside and noticed Simon-the-ex-meanie-who-I-now-somewhat-like-because-he-made-conversation-with-me-one-rainy-day and the guy that I've dubbed Brian because he looks like a fattish ah beng version of Brian with an I.

Superhero-synonym-ed-boy, if you're reading this, Hello!

Also, since I promised:

I love Muffin (and muffins) dearly.

SmellyMel, I had a pretty message all typed out for you, but I'm not sharing it here because I don't want to get yelled at. Grin. See you Thursday at yoga, love.

Note to self:
2301 script, April 5th
3215 slides, April 7th
2301 + 3215 presentations, April 10th
3211 assignment, April 16th

Of feeling blessed

I have a vanilla latte with cinnamon and nutmeg.

I hate PowerPoint, and PowerPoint hates me, but when we grit our teeth and overlook our differences, the results are beautiful.

Rain. Need I say more? BB knows what I mean. =) Hi, love.

And Hi to doof too. You're loved.

And most of the rest of yous too. Drop me a line if you're reading, so I know who to say hi to.

of having 13 bloody days to go

I'm tempted to say "how hard can it be", but I know I'd just end up jinxing myself. I probably already have, just by thinking it.

I can literally feel myself shifting into someone else, someone I like better than who I was. Like I told the Banana Girl on our way to school today - sometimes the best way to feel better about being treated like crap is to go out and be your awesome self and let someone else tell you how amazing you are.

A 3 hour late night phone conversation later and I'm back in school, admittedly not really paying attention, but it's the first time in about 6 weeks that I've actually attended my 9am class. And as much as my butt is itching to get back in the driver's seat and head off to doofy's store after lunch with the Banana Girl, I'm damn well going to make myself show up for my philosophy tutorial.

For now I'm working on editing this blasted project report. They typed my name out as "BlaBla Nansi" - was I really not supposed to take offense? After they gave me a lousy peer evaluation? And really. Judging from the state of the report, I'm not surprised we didn't get a good grade on it. Jeeeez. Thank God I've found a way to rise above the bs.

(p.s. Buttz, if you want me to do that weekly restaurant review food critic thing, you need to give me the pictures, you doofus.)

EDIT: Surprise, surprise, I've been at Suntek Siti Starbucks for over an hour. Which means I skipped tutorial. Banana Girl, you're not living up to my impression of you as a good influence. Also, please stop deriving inspiration from the NBF and I, not when things are going crappily. When we're good you can derive as much inspiration as you like, but you've got a good thing going for you (more or less) so don't make the same mistakes I do lei.

HAHAHA I feel like such an older sister. It's a completely alien feeling. Also I'm slightly amused by my need to revert to flippancy everytime something gets anywhere near too emotional.

I'm holding up. I know it's just being dammed up and one day, probably soon, I'm going to explode. But for now I'm actually doing pretty brilliant. Fuckers for group mates, shitty assignments, gloom doom & despair at home, screwed up people all inclusive, and I still manage to laugh and smile and derive pleasure from little things like smoke breaks and large chunks of chocolate chips in my frapps and splashing in puddles.

And all these days i spend away
Ill make up for this i swear
I need your love to hold me up
When its all too much to bear

When the night falls in around me
I dont think ill make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you.

- Landing in London, 3 Doors Down

Cheh. Emo seh.

Thanks dooflydumpkins for the discount + awesome IS magazine freebie =)

Of an extremely important note to self

NOTE TO SELF:

When someone says that they don't have time for you, and ends off with the phrase "oh and FUCK YOU"..... stop believing the nice things they say. Ever.

There's a good achesy.

Thank Heavens for Reggae & Hip Hop & my car & Banana Girl & cookies & coffee & yoga with MeowMeow & the rain.

EDIT: A conversation on msn:

J- you make me feel small. says (11:00 PM):
I AIM VERY WELL THANK YOU.
hahahhahahah
I also MSN very well.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH GEEK JOKE
achesy says (11:00 PM):
sigh.
Sometimes Jeremy.....
J- you make me feel small. says (11:00 PM):
yes?
:)
i cheer you up
:)
now PUT THAT ON YOUR BLOG GO PUT PUT PUT

Of rambles about the rain by the river

I have a song stuck in my head that I only know the melody to. When Banana Girl is done bitching at people online maybe I'll ask her if she recognises it.

Thank God for the rain today. If it weren't for the weather I'm pretty sure I would've sat down on the roadside and bawled my eyes out from the sheer frustration of everything.

I splashed in puddles. It's been a long time since I did that.

I also didn't stop myself from being bitchy. I think I've had it up to here for too long.

I really don't know what to say. I don't even know where to begin.

Hana's story about what I said/did in the toilet at the J block made me smile. I think if I were two people, we'd be friends with each other for sure.

Of soul searching and flippancy

I've been telling several people lately that I wish I were lesbian. And most of them either laugh it off, or ask me if I'm serious - and I'm not. Not really anyway. I only want to lesbian out of sheer perversity, to borrow one of Banana Girl's favourite words. It's that feeling I didn't understand when I was 13, which people in KC must have been feeling. Sidetracking a bit, I'm sure doofy is amused by my synonymising KC girls and lesbianism. The feeling of compulsion to do something just for the sake of it, of apathy so strong that you can feel the lack of emotion.

I want to be a hunter again, I want to see the world alone again, to take a chance at life again, so let me go, let me leave. - Dido, Hunter.

Every time I've ever pushed someone away, I haven't thought twice about it, and I've managed to run as far as I like, to hide for as long as it took for me to recuperate and be "strong" again. I don't understand this perception people have of me being a strong person. I wish Sean were here, because he explains things in a way that makes them seem so obvious. He makes me feel small without being resentful.

Now I'm trying to be logical and reason something out with myself, but I'm not sure I believe in reasoning with your emotions.

And then the Banana Girl tells me about people getting abortions, and I think maybe I'm not so poorly off after all. I haven't had a best friend, but I've got the best friends. Awww, cheesyness galore.

I had a brilliant lunch with my mom at Toast at Taka. And I got myself books from the library so hopefully school won't seem so impossible anymore. And doofy and twinks made fun of me for being a botox face =(

I love how the switch just tripped between soul searching and flippancy. Denial and repression are in my blood, and some days I couldn't be more thankful for it.

Of nothing in particular

The non-straws that are supposed to be stirrers which many people, myself included, insist on using to sip their blazing hot tasty orgasmic coffee from, require skill. There's a method to it, which involves using your tongue in unnatural ways, to derive extremely satisfactory results.

Mmmm, coffee.

I finally figured out how to get to th art museum. Except the only route I know requires first driving to town, and then coming back towards home. I'm pretty sure there's a more direct route, I just haven't figured it out yet.

Since Hana's probably spending quality time with her moms tomorrow, maybe I'll try and figure it out. Probably not, cos I'll want to hang out with my sissypoo before she heads off to KL for her lit festival, but maybe.

Speaking of family, mine is nuts. For reals. Last night the mom, the sister and I went to Parkway, where there was a pillow sale going on. My mom's got issues with her pillows, so she was trying them out......

While standing next to the display. She put her head down on it while standing. It was.... amusing. Now you know where I get the kookyness from.

Also, before that my sister and I got into an argument about whether or not SilverFish Books was a good name for a bookstore. I said it was all about the irony, and she wasn't living up to her status as a poet by not spotting that. She just wasn't amused. Hmph.

The girl who makes me wish I were lesbian. She's psycho. For reals.

My wifey. (p.s. This is the picture I was talking about in my Papi review post) HEY BUTTZ, WHAT'S THE HAPS?!

What I feel like doing everytime I study. I told you Banana takes the best pictures of me.

Okay, okay I really should get on with my essay. I have no idea how I'm going to fit two points and a conclusion into a page and a half, but it's about time I started trying. Let me leave you with the lyrics to a song I was listening to in my car today, which made me think about my boobs and resulted in me laughing like a maniac to myself. Motorists of Singapore, if you saw a curly wopped young lady in a white Sportage behaving a little oddly.... pay no heed. It was nothing.

Bob Marley - My Cup

My cup is running over
I don't know what to do
My cup is running over
I don't know what to do

No I don't know [no I don't know] no I don't know
[No I don't know] Yes I've got to cry, cry, cry
People let me cry, cry, cry
Said I fell a little bit better [cry, cry, cry]
If only I got to cry, cry, cry

Now that I, lost you
I've lost the best friend
That I ever knew
Now that I, realize
It makes me [makes me] it makes me [makes me]
So mad, tell you, my cup, running over

I don't know what to do
My cup is running over
I don't know what to do
No I don't know [no I don't know] no I don't know
[No I don't know] Yes I've got to cry, cry, cry

People let me [cry, cry, cry]
[Cry, cry, cry]
[Cry, cry, cry]

Now that I, lost you
I've lost the best friend that I ever knew
Now that I, realize
It makes me [makes me] it makes me [makes me]
So mad, tell you my cup, cup, is running over baby
And I don't know what to, don't know what to do yeah

Tell you my cup, running over
And I don't know, don't know, don't know what to do
Eh No I don't know [no I don't know] no I don't know
[No I don't know] Yes I've got to cry, cry, cry

People let me [cry, cry, cry]
I'll feel a little bit better [cry, cry, cry]
But I got [feel like crying] [cry, cry, cry]
Ooh yeah [feel like crying] [cry, cry, cry]
Ooh yeah [feel like crying] cry, cry, cry [feel like crying]
Cry, cry

EDIT: I just wrote Banana a poem on MSN, because she was accusing me of being a freak in the sack, while she's supposed to be paying attention to lecture at that. Since I'm all about sharing, here you go:

achesy says (2:51 PM):
hah!
Fine!
I tell you la
since you won't judge me
I love to do it nasty
with whips and chains
handcuffs and leather
no lace for me, oh no
I like it rough baby, I like it good
Spank me tease me love me nasty
candle wax baby, it's all just starting
(feel honoured, I'm writing a poem just for you)

Of being extremely puzzled early in the morning

My friend and his girlfriend asked me to have a threesome with them. And he doesn't get why I would say no even though I find them both rather attractive. Riiiight.

I went to bed at half past 4, and woke up at 7 because my sister couldn't get a cab to school because it was raining like fuckzoids. At least I got to drive in the rain. That always makes me happy. Speaking of which, I read an article yesterday by some woman about how her car is her happy place, because it's the one place she can truly call her own. Just random uninteresting stuff I thought I would share.

I am positively starving, and craving some mickey d's breakfast.

Also, the porn that Silly Cow sent me last night plays like an audio clip. I'm bemused. I can't ask him about it either because he's off to Ipoh. Have a good 9 hour bus ride, babe.

TMNT later today with the Banana Beb. Gedebab!!!!!!

(p.s. I'm getting sick of these label things, so this post isn't getting any. nanny nanny boo boo.)

She's running out again, she's running out, she runs, runs, runs.

Of what weekends should be made of

I have beautiful nails, because my sister took me for a manicure and pedicure.

I have beautiful new bras, because my mom took me shopping. There's one in particular that supposedly looks awesome on me, because my mom and all the shop assistants started gushing when they saw me. Yes, they all saw me in my bra. And gushed. A lot. I'll let you know if it has the same effect on other people.

I would replace "other people" with "the boy", but I'm pissed off with his lack of ability to make time for me. I am this close to cheating on his ass again, but MizzBanana makes a good voice of conscience.

I had a pretzel and lots of ice cream, and I'm meeting the Banana Beb at Siglap later, to "study" over coffee. This is what weekends should be like - lots of r&r, pampering yourself, and good company.

And John Mayer's Slow Dancing in a Burning Room on repeat all day. Damn Y2K weekend on Class 95. The music isn't too bad, but I miss my 80's weekend dreadfully.

Of slipping back into that comfort zone

It was a productive day. Productive by Saturday standards anyway. Most weekends I get absolutely nothing done, so really, anything is an improvement.

Hung out with the BananaBabe at Siglap for a bit, then had a really early dinner with doof, ran a couple of errands, and came home. The group people were being retards again, so I was a bit funked up for a while, but I had a looooooong hot soak in the tub and now I feel better. I spent fifteen minutes of it perched next to the bathroom window having a smoke. Sempurnas are just as tasty as I remember them being, but waaaay lighter. I guess Banana wasn't lying after all. Hmph.

Here's what I typed out during my frequent mini-breaks while doing work at 'bucks.

Till last year I could safely say I'd never been on a date. Now I can safely say I've never been on a second date. I've never had a proper, normal relationship.

I've realised that you really should never say never, because you never know how you'll change and what you'll end up doing, that you never thought you would.

sidenote: I wonder how I knew that the girl in the skimpy little white skirt that just almost displays her dimpled flabby buttcheeks was with the almost good looking white guy even though they were walking more than two arms length apart and not speaking to each other .

We saw two snazzy looking Harley's in the span of an hour. Even if MizzBanana insists that the first one was very "CHANG", I still liked it. She made a good point though. Why is it that Harley riders always wear that half helmet? I said it's cos they're all about being old school bikers, but I don't think she buys my theory.

I wonder if it's just coincidence that coffee and cigarettes taste so damn good together.

I think I should mention that I definitely need some motivation to cut back on the school skipping business, because I realised that next week I'm probably going to be in school for a grand total of 3 hours. Hmm.

Nightmares suck. Waking up to invisible pervs sucks even more.

Today, my dad told me about how he's got a couple of older women working in his office now.. and he kept wondering why people were cussing at them all the time. He was all "why are these people so mean to those poor little old ladies".... till someone explained to him that Ah Soh is just another one of those random Singlish phrases.

My father is such a doomus. =)

That's really all I have for you tonight. I've got tons on my mind, but it's not ready for articulation just yet.

Of explaining where I get my potty mouth from

SCENE: I'm snuggled in my mom's bed, under my dad's blankie, and we're all watching cricket.

Pops: (to my mom) I didn't want to say this at the table, but I didn't really enjoy dinner that much tonight.
Momma: Is it because Eku didn't make it? (Eku being the beloved, talented, amazing, beautiful wonderful youngest child of the family, coincidentally enough also your faithful blogger)
Me: You had hot dogs for dinner? (It's the one meal that I'm invariably coerced into making for the family: hot dogs and fries)
Momma: Yeah
Pops: It was kind of sweet on the inside. It should be spicy.
Me: I'm the hot dog queen! Yes!!
Pops: Garam Kutti. (that's Gujarati for Hot (female) Dog).
Me: Did daddy just call me a bitch?
Pops: Bitch. A heaty bitch.

SCENE: Mom and dad are sitting on the bed. Daddy's just finished eating peanuts.

Momma: You'd brushed your teeth so nicely, and now you're coming near me with your peanut-foul-stenched-breath. Couldn't come near me with minty fresh breath, no, just the smelly stuff.
Pops: Breathes heavily at momma
Momma: Stop that!
Pops: Breathes heavily at momma again
Momma: Utters unrepeatable, probably untranslatable, cusswords at pops.

Disclaimer: Not a one off event. This tends to happen all the damn time.