of having 13 bloody days to go

I'm tempted to say "how hard can it be", but I know I'd just end up jinxing myself. I probably already have, just by thinking it.

I can literally feel myself shifting into someone else, someone I like better than who I was. Like I told the Banana Girl on our way to school today - sometimes the best way to feel better about being treated like crap is to go out and be your awesome self and let someone else tell you how amazing you are.

A 3 hour late night phone conversation later and I'm back in school, admittedly not really paying attention, but it's the first time in about 6 weeks that I've actually attended my 9am class. And as much as my butt is itching to get back in the driver's seat and head off to doofy's store after lunch with the Banana Girl, I'm damn well going to make myself show up for my philosophy tutorial.

For now I'm working on editing this blasted project report. They typed my name out as "BlaBla Nansi" - was I really not supposed to take offense? After they gave me a lousy peer evaluation? And really. Judging from the state of the report, I'm not surprised we didn't get a good grade on it. Jeeeez. Thank God I've found a way to rise above the bs.

(p.s. Buttz, if you want me to do that weekly restaurant review food critic thing, you need to give me the pictures, you doofus.)

EDIT: Surprise, surprise, I've been at Suntek Siti Starbucks for over an hour. Which means I skipped tutorial. Banana Girl, you're not living up to my impression of you as a good influence. Also, please stop deriving inspiration from the NBF and I, not when things are going crappily. When we're good you can derive as much inspiration as you like, but you've got a good thing going for you (more or less) so don't make the same mistakes I do lei.

HAHAHA I feel like such an older sister. It's a completely alien feeling. Also I'm slightly amused by my need to revert to flippancy everytime something gets anywhere near too emotional.

I'm holding up. I know it's just being dammed up and one day, probably soon, I'm going to explode. But for now I'm actually doing pretty brilliant. Fuckers for group mates, shitty assignments, gloom doom & despair at home, screwed up people all inclusive, and I still manage to laugh and smile and derive pleasure from little things like smoke breaks and large chunks of chocolate chips in my frapps and splashing in puddles.

And all these days i spend away
Ill make up for this i swear
I need your love to hold me up
When its all too much to bear

When the night falls in around me
I dont think ill make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you.

- Landing in London, 3 Doors Down

Cheh. Emo seh.

Thanks dooflydumpkins for the discount + awesome IS magazine freebie =)